sorry for the lack of posts.  i switched to firefox because my flash player stopped showing up.  the funny thing about firefox is if you log out of tumblr, you can’t log back in (WTF?) so i’ve been neglecting this page for a bit.

Shai Hulud - The Bonds Of Those Who Have No Understanding Of Consequences

death will end the weakness
i am a violent tendency sparked by the words of the world
an isolated integrity
employing wisdom learned through the search for the truth
searching to no avail
those enlightened abandon hope for truth
those enlightened (TRUST NO ONE!)
i’ve lived so openly
and have been so naive
to think that any man can be believed
to think that any man can be believed
(TRUST NO ONE!)
i will pledge no alliegence to a defect
(TRUST NO ONE!)
and within this resistance i am liberated
(TRUST NO ONE!)
i repel the weakness
and side strongly with virtue
i resist insincerity
i resist humanity
death will end the weakness

there is no person’s promise that can not be broken
ONE MORE TIME!
only death will end the weakness
death will end the weakness
anyone can comfort me with promises again, but i know
wading through deceit and lies
to end in the arms of mistrust
an embrace i’ve grown to despise
all are insincere

instead of posting “For The World” again (i can, the version from the EP is slightly different, i just don’t think it matters) i’m going to go a little out of order and post my favorite Shai Hulud song ever today.  because i’m going through tough times.  it’s helped me, and maybe it can help someone else.

Shai Hulud - Love Is The Fall Of Every Man

i stand on the edge of destruction
emotionally ruined by the warmth i most desire
i will not fall prey to love of a human kind
for love is weakness
love is the fall of every man
take this heart you’ve claimed and as it numbs your hands
know the flame is dead and will no longer burn
this body will never pain again
this mind knows no wound
though i am of flesh
this flesh will not consume me
as it has destroyed so many before
this body will never pain again
this mind knows no wound
the flame is dead
left only with ashes of memories
that renew faith in hate
and my faith in myself
nothing can break me
this heart remains free from the burden of love
yet this heart WILL be sustained
no hope, no compassion
I FILL MY HEART WITH STRENGTH

Shai Hulud - If Born From This Soil

this world is a burden
and it disgusts me.
i want to deny it,
its inhabitants and their possessions.
i’m embarrassed to know
this soil produced me.
i’m dying to be elsewhere,
trying not to belong in a nature
of impulse and self-indulgence.
a brother to none,
my kinship lies elsewhere.
i am separate and loyal to no one,
if born from this soil.
i’m embarrassed to know you;
you do not represent me.
a likeness only in structure,
not in mind.
i vow to never belong to anyone
born from this soil
a people that follows blindly
will not reprimand me.

Shai Hulud - Hardly

i am a memory,
i never existed
and now i am nothing.
her name, a single word
melts me, takes me to the ground.
only alive, can’t she see
i’m destroyed by yesterdays.
and do i gain?
i could only dream
for chance to side with me,
inquire, ingest, implode.
let this not be the disassemblance of me.
another night with arms still empty.
i’m destroyed.
and do i gain?
or just fall.
and i am a memory,
and i never existed
and now i am nothing
nothing, i’m nothing, to you
fall
i’m falling
we fell

Shai Hulud - For The World

poured myself out:
i am the empty cup
my hope has died away
and my tolerance faded.

how can i keep stability
on such shaky ground?
prayers that a smile
will flag me down.

sadly i’ve learned there’s no truth in comfort;
well-being stems not from love.
anguish proves to be my only means of solace,
yet i want to be held by anyone,
with any arms

i spend another morn alone
in a world that rejects me.
a public unkind, laced with apathy.
this one’s for the world: I HATE YOU

life could get no colder;
i’m living out a dying cell,
but i can pull through.

realfalse:

(via stonethrower, misanthropy-pure)

Shai Hulud - Eating Bullets Of Acceptance

OUR OUTLOOK IS BLEAK!
but the moment is grand
to be told we’re independent is not enough.
we should strive for autonomous thoughts
and your pride and your conformity is sickening
this useless praise
but this desire for focus triggers abuse
of an endless sense of insecurity.
we grasp at questions for a sense of hope
it’s not so simple to sit and wait
we cannot embrace our roles blindly
they’re assigned
they are assigned, based on the fact that we will accept
minds are in suspended animation
due to an attachment to this established lifestyle
my existence will not be dictated like a reading from a book
i will not be predetermined.
our outlook is bleak.
when approval is all we crave
and the moment is grand.
your pride is sickening.
in your conformity.
but this moment is grand.
we should strive for autonomous thoughts.
approval is all we crave!
it’s all we crave!

Shai Hulud - This Wake I Myself Have Stirred

i kid myself
bring it on!
afraid to turn
but i did and met no maker at all
only instead, reflections of a rippled self
i may at last see myself as good
in a neutral pond, unbiased and real
depicting only what is true
a distortion my hand has forced
i have created the wake
i may at last see myself as good
paint a false scenario
my life has been a breach of contract
and faith
i kid myself
moving through self-degradation
i turn to you, for appreciation
so help me to help myself
so help me to love myself

Shai Hulud - Beyond Man

“human” is a degrading word
as human, i renounce myself
i yield, i yield to no man
there will be no peace on earth
not amongst men
there will be no peace on earth

indulge, be content
soften yourselves
i look beyond
weakness and fashion
confide not in flesh, i look beyond

if i can’t change the world
i’ll disregard it

indulge, be content
soften yourselves
i look beyond
weakness and fashion
confide not in flesh, i look beyond

pray to calm my heart
pray for the fools

if i can’t change the world
i’ll disregard it

and your actions will speak alone

i will be at peace
i am not a man